Day 68- List Making for the Exceptionally Obsessive

In case it hasn’t become obvious at this point, I fucking love making lists.

I love it.

I do it compulsively.

I tell myself that without my lists, I’ll never be able to remember what I need to do, or what I need to get, or what I want. And this is largely true, despite my acute ability to both lose and ignore lists I have just made. 

Whatever, it gives me the joy of making new lists! 

I think they are a great way to organize space and to put imaginary boundaries where life is chaotic. I may not remember to cash my check for 3 days in a row but hey, I have a list to remind me what searches I need to try on Google, Amazon, Ebay and Etsy when I am in serious time waster mode. 

Which reminds me, damn you Etsy. 

Stop making cool shit.

 

Anyway, I thought it would be cool to provide all of you with some lists that I frequently make for my own entertainment. 

Now, why I need lists for what I like and don’t like- I’m not exactly sure. They will certainly never see the light of day outside this blog, but come on this journey with me regardless. Read my lists, and I will read yours. 

My Guilty Pleasures:

  • Choosing an new deodorant. ( I am not sure why I love sniffing pit sticks in the grocery store for a full hour, but I actually look forward to going to get more. It’s an event. Heaven forbid Old Spice gets a new scent collection. And yes, I use men’s deodorant- because I believe in my smellf)
  • The smell of rain on hot concrete. (I have been told this is an oddly specific thing to love, but it’s delicious. Trust me.)
  • 1990’s Gangsta rap and hip hop. No Diggity, no doubt.
  • LIST MAKING
  • My friends exploiting my boobs for pillows and/or fortification.
  • Singing along to cartoon Disney songs. (Teach me to be mysterious as the dark side of moon, with all the force of a great typhoon, please.)
  • Singing along to basically any song I know. (This makes me a terrible companion for just about anything and anyone.)
  • When people tell me I look like Joan Jett. (You can keep that up aaaall day brothas and sistas.) 
  • War movies and Westerns 
  • “True Blood” (I’m admitting it. It’s my dark, dirty, slutty, little secret)
  • Having an entire bag of white, cheesy popcorn to myself. 
  • Not having to put on pants at any point in the day
  • Stealing the kid’s snacks from my aunt’s house (She buys them for her grandkids and I totally pirate them away little by little)
  • Buying workout DVDs (that I will never actually use)
  • Calling my friend Ginger up at 3 am and asking him to drive me around
  • Shania Twain

 

Things that Give me an Exceptional Amount of Displeasure

  • Making small talk with strangers
  • Listening to my voicemail… ever
  • Responding to facebook messages and gmail emails
  • Meeting my guy friends’ mothers. No thank you. (The exception here is my boyfriend’s mom. She is awesome, always.)
  • Meeting friends of friends
  • Making milkshakes at my job (You don’t need that peanut buttah chocolate milkshake right before I get off. Fuck you.)
  • Children of any species or variety (Seriously, why can’t you give them rum?)
  • Talk of any kind about celebrities who aren’t Freddie Mercury
  • Reality TV of any kind
  • Middle School to High School age boys. 
  • Middle School to High School age girls.
  • Tipping anybody who works in a coffee house (I feel so judged and instantly overperkified)
  • Being facebook friends with people who take too many selfies or pictures of their hell spawn. See also: anybody whose profile picture is a car.
  • Veggie dogs. (Seriously what plant was so lowly it deserved the mutilation known as a meat free hotdog?) 

 

 

There you have it. Just a few things that I like and things that severely wish were not ever a thing. 

What about you?

Advertisements

Leave Breeness Some Wordage

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s