In case it hasn’t become obvious at this point, I fucking love making lists.
I love it.
I do it compulsively.
I tell myself that without my lists, I’ll never be able to remember what I need to do, or what I need to get, or what I want. And this is largely true, despite my acute ability to both lose and ignore lists I have just made.
Whatever, it gives me the joy of making new lists!
I think they are a great way to organize space and to put imaginary boundaries where life is chaotic. I may not remember to cash my check for 3 days in a row but hey, I have a list to remind me what searches I need to try on Google, Amazon, Ebay and Etsy when I am in serious time waster mode.
Which reminds me, damn you Etsy.
Stop making cool shit.
Anyway, I thought it would be cool to provide all of you with some lists that I frequently make for my own entertainment.
Now, why I need lists for what I like and don’t like- I’m not exactly sure. They will certainly never see the light of day outside this blog, but come on this journey with me regardless. Read my lists, and I will read yours.
My Guilty Pleasures:
- Choosing an new deodorant. ( I am not sure why I love sniffing pit sticks in the grocery store for a full hour, but I actually look forward to going to get more. It’s an event. Heaven forbid Old Spice gets a new scent collection. And yes, I use men’s deodorant- because I believe in my smellf)
- The smell of rain on hot concrete. (I have been told this is an oddly specific thing to love, but it’s delicious. Trust me.)
- 1990’s Gangsta rap and hip hop. No Diggity, no doubt.
- LIST MAKING
- My friends exploiting my boobs for pillows and/or fortification.
- Singing along to cartoon Disney songs. (Teach me to be mysterious as the dark side of moon, with all the force of a great typhoon, please.)
- Singing along to basically any song I know. (This makes me a terrible companion for just about anything and anyone.)
- When people tell me I look like Joan Jett. (You can keep that up aaaall day brothas and sistas.)
- War movies and Westerns
- “True Blood” (I’m admitting it. It’s my dark, dirty, slutty, little secret)
- Having an entire bag of white, cheesy popcorn to myself.
- Not having to put on pants at any point in the day
- Stealing the kid’s snacks from my aunt’s house (She buys them for her grandkids and I totally pirate them away little by little)
- Buying workout DVDs (that I will never actually use)
- Calling my friend Ginger up at 3 am and asking him to drive me around
- Shania Twain
Things that Give me an Exceptional Amount of Displeasure
- Making small talk with strangers
- Listening to my voicemail… ever
- Responding to facebook messages and gmail emails
- Meeting my guy friends’ mothers. No thank you. (The exception here is my boyfriend’s mom. She is awesome, always.)
- Meeting friends of friends
- Making milkshakes at my job (You don’t need that peanut buttah chocolate milkshake right before I get off. Fuck you.)
- Children of any species or variety (Seriously, why can’t you give them rum?)
- Talk of any kind about celebrities who aren’t Freddie Mercury
- Reality TV of any kind
- Middle School to High School age boys.
- Middle School to High School age girls.
- Tipping anybody who works in a coffee house (I feel so judged and instantly overperkified)
- Being facebook friends with people who take too many selfies or pictures of their hell spawn. See also: anybody whose profile picture is a car.
- Veggie dogs. (Seriously what plant was so lowly it deserved the mutilation known as a meat free hotdog?)
There you have it. Just a few things that I like and things that severely wish were not ever a thing.
What about you?