Day 56- Possible Professions of a Meandering College Student

So you might have noticed that I have been MIA for the past couple days. 

I have been planning a nerf gun battle for the past two weeks for my boyfriend’s 23rd birthday party, and it’s sort of been consuming my life.

Not to mention that I’m trying to get my school figured out, and that I have an actual job I am required to attend- I’ve been too busy or simply unable to make contact with a computer.

But I will talk more about the Nerf battle in my next post.

Today I wanted to talk about possible professions of a meandering college student.

For those of you who know me, you’ll know that I have often talked about not knowing what direction my life is going.

If you don’t know me, I am guessing the general directionless writing of my blog is probably a dead give away of my life planning skills. 

I am a bit hopeless.

Anyway, when I was studying in Germany about two years ago, I was still thinking about what I could possibly do in the future with my obscure/useless skill set. 

The following is a collection of those professions, with some updates and/or modifications:

 

Professional Skydiver!

Pros:

 -Excitement!

-High school reunion conversations might actually be interesting.

-Drug use is unnecessary. 

Cons:

-Not passing the first lesson

-Adrenal gland rupture 

 

Bounty Huntress

Pros:

-Epic job title

-Being bad to the bone

Cons:

-80’s inspired hair styles

-Actually having to deal with criminals. 

 

Rockstar!

Pros: 

-People pay me to sing

-Parties, booze & hoochie coo

-$

-Guitars!!!

Cons:

-Possible disownment by grandfather (the jazz guitarist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izPnDR_kAIU)

-Really shitty band name 

-Talent (optional?)

 

Professional Wrestler

Pros:

-Wrestling experience unnecessary

-Men in spandex

-No plot line too ridiculous

Cons:

-Men in spandex

-The title “Glamazon” is already taken

 

Linguist

Pros: 

Cultural Triva God!

-Obscure knowledge base and skills

Cons:

-May have to use brain to obtain obscure knowledge base and skills

 

Lifelong Graduate Student

Pros: 

-job? hahaha!

-Must obtain ridiculously high opinion of my own opinion

Cons:

-Ponytail hair

-Scrounging for food scraps

-Hipster Metamorphosis

 

Navy

Pros:

-Paycheck + Ability to pay off student loans

-See the world!

Cons:

-See the world- and then kill it!

-Superior officers

-Forcefully installed patriotism

 

Police Officer

Pros:

-Donuts!

-Aviators

-Beat stick

-Terrifying drivers on the highway

-Sirens and sex lights

Cons:

-Cop Fantasies

-Donut jokes

-German terrorists 

 

Shooting Chickens Out of Canons at Airplane Windows:

Pros:

Shooting chickens out of canons

Cons:

-?

 

Lady of the Evening

Pros:

-Being called a “Lady of the Evening”

-Opportunity to meet congressmen, actors and atheletes

-Horrifying family by putting it on the list

Cons:

-Sharing is not caring (STDs)

-Work-related conversations at family reunions

 

Editor

Pros:

-Red Pen!!!! Bwahahahaaha!

-Satisfaction over finally being paid to fix spelling and grammatical errors.

Cons:

Image

 

Writer

Pros:

-Joy!

-Getting paid to do what I do anyway

Cons:

-Editors

-People saying mean things about my writing

 

 


Archaeologist 

Pros:

-Falafel

-Adventure

Image

-A chance to learn about the fascinating cultures and lives of long ago

-Utilizing my unholy knack for date/facts/figure memorization

-Feel like Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

-Be as Bad-Ass as this actual Indiana Jones: (http://www.willamette.edu/cla/classics/faculty/mccreery/)

Cons:

-Nazis

-8 more years of school

-Idiots (People making bogus claims about “miraculous” discoveries, uneducated, unpaid workers trumping up excavation sites, countries stealing artifacts from each other)

 

Vampire Slayer 

Pros:

-No morning shifts

-Active Night Life

-Awesome theme song

-Rewarding

-Spike

Cons:

-Melodrama

-I generally lack the athleticism required

-Going anywhere near something called the “Hell Mouth” 

 

So there you go. A list of things that I have thought about doing in the past two years, seriously or not, because why not? 

Can somebody just simplify my life and tell me what I am meant to do?

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