Yes, yes, this comes as no surprise, but I am constantly annoyed at work.
Every goddamn time I ask which type of lettuce they would prefer, the customer stares at me blankly and says, “I have to choose?”
And every goddamn time, I have to pretend like I’m not seriously annoyed that I have a whole slew of other customers waiting to be waited on and this particular customer can’t make up their mind on what type of freakin’ lettuce they want.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
My god man.
(Please note, they stop and agonize over every option, not just the lettuce. Then they ask me what I think they should get. I DON’T KNOW. HAVE I BEEN LIVING ON YOUR TASTE BUDS YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND TAKING STATISTICS ON THEIR PLEASURE RECEPTORS?)
I have mentioned this several times on my blog, and after a few months of working, you would think that I would have a way to deal with it, but I still do not.
Let me just clarify, our menu is not that big. It’s a small restaurant and we primarily serve burgers.
There are only so many ways that you can serve a burger.
So slowly I start spiraling down into my inner cavity of rage and doom. I imagine a world where people just magically tell me what they actually want.
Where people say it right the first time, and don’t make me change their order midway it’s preparation or after it’s been served and they say, “I DIDN’T WANT ONIONS, I TOLD YOU NO ONIONS.”
*ahem* No you did not. I take orders all day, lady, I would know if you had or not.
My imagination is quite expansive.
Then I smile and say, “so iceberg lettuce then?”
Lessons in humility would be easier to handle if I really was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, just doing her time at the Double Meat Palace.
I need to start training for a new career path.
Meet Bree, DECIDER OF LETTUCES.
Oh you’re having a hard time making up your mind?
You don’t say?!
Fortunately, I already come fully equipped with an arsenal of sarcasm.