So yesterday I was feeling pretty worn out. I feel pulled in all different directions. I get so overwhelmed trying to direct my attention to all the things I’m supposed to be that it takes all my energy away from enjoying life. What a hassle.
So I made an acoustic mix, plugged in a lava lamp and just sat on my bed and zoned a bit; thought about things and avoided computers, phones, and people.
If it seems like I do that a lot, you’re only partly right. It’s just since I’ve been with writing this blog actually. In order to have the gusto to write, I have to make time to clear out filing space in my mind.
Although it was nice to “unplug” as they say, it still hasn’t given me any bright ideas on how to solve my looming problems like: will I ever be able to afford groceries? When will I finish my bloody degree? Am I going to be able to pay rent and all the insufferable medicals bills in the upcoming month? When are my ovaries going to explode on me again?
I don’t want to work in a restaurant for the rest of my life. I don’t want to live here for the rest of my life. What do I want to do for the rest of my life?
It seems I’ve thought too much about everything, so I’ve resolutely congealed in the same cycle of thoughts.
I need more time, just a few more months and I’ll be fine….
What I’m saying here, is that I feel pretty stagnant at this stage of my life, but I’m not quite ready to set on my path.
For now, I need more time to sit on my bed and listen to acoustic guitar.
Here’s my mix for those interested, and yes I pilfered a lot of this collection by watching “Scrubs,” so don’t blame me if you fall asleep listening to this and then dream of Zach Braff.
1. New Slang performed by The Shins
2. Have It All performed by Jeremy Kay
3. Overkill performed by Colin Hay
4. Beautiful World performed by Colin Hay
5. Walking Next To You performed by Acres
6. Blue Eyes performed by the Cary Brothers
7. All Kinds of Time performed by Fountains of Wayne
8. Last Request performed by Paulo Nutini
9. Where Do You Go performed by Sister Hazel
10. The Book Of Love performed by Peter Gabriel
11. Collide performed by Howie Day
12. If You’re Not the One performed by Daniel Bedingfield
13. Come and Get Higher performed by Matt Nathanson
14. I’ll Be performed by Edwin McCain
15. Such Great Heights performed by Iron and Wine
16. Hooch performed by Everything
17. Closer performed by Joshua Radin
18. Rhythm of Love performed by Plain White T’s
19. Naked as We Came performed by Iron and Wine
20. When I’m Gone performed by Anna Kendrick
Now you may be thinking to yourself… wow Bree. That’s a pretty cheesy mix. Are you intentionally trying to grow a vagina?
Which I would respond to you with:
1.) Why do you associate the female sex organs with gentleness? As Betty White says, “Those things take a pounding.”
2.) I already have a vagina, so your argument is invalid.
3.) I know it’s cornball. But it feels good and doesn’t cloud my mind with complex arrangements or hostile messages. Try it. You won’t grow a vagina, I promise.
You’re not that lucky.