Day 21- Apparently I have Boobies

Today at work there was an amusing situation where I was walking behind a customer and sweeping while he was stepping around a table to avoid me, which sort of made it seem like we were going in a circle. I said aloud, “haha! who is following who here?!”

To which a random lady from the corner of the restaurant yelled, “He’s following you because you look like a Hooters Girl!”

Thanks for the clarification.

Punishment for the terrible joke?

Wait, did I say that was amusing? I sort of meant horrendously embarrassing. I usually try not to get all ruffled over comments made about my boobs, because 1.) people say stuff all the time and if I spent all my emotions on boob-grief-humiliation, I’d have zero left over to restrain myself from jumping over the counter and biting people. 2.) I have big boobs, and they’re pretty friggin’ obvious, always.

I was just unable to make a witty retort because she was a customer, and also because my witty retorts are always something along the lines of a very energetic, “faaauuuck you.”

And sometimes I wish there was a tacit understanding between people and me. I know they see them, and I know that they know, that I know that they’re seeing them. We just don’t need to talk about it, sweeties.

In all fairness, after yelling across the whole restaurant and waiting for that customer to leave, the yeller did come to apologize. She likes boobies, she said, she thinks they’re great!

I’m honestly not sure if I get more attention from men or from women. …Women tend to be bolder with the groping. Is there some sort of motorboating sisterhood that I was not made aware of? Did my boob size grant me automatic membership? Is the application form a purchase of a DD+ bra?

Anyway, when I came home, I discovered my mom had tagged me in a photo on facebook with a fellow busty lady pictured, that said, “tag a friend with big boobs.” Thanks mom!

Then I went to the gym and was informed that apparently and unbeknownst to me, I have been the subject of some attention (according to the desk guys) because of Betty and Veronica. I AM wearing a sportsbra, motherfuckers, these just will not be chastened.

Later, I went home again and then found updates from one of my favorite webcomics, “Busty Girl Problems,” which you can find by clicking the link here:

It is inspiring how many comics I completely relate to.

Basically what I’m driving at, is that today has been a very booby-orientated day. Is the universe trying to tell me something? Should I apply for Hooters? Is it acceptable to place my boobies on the bar to take weight off my back? Is it awkward for others if I use them as a shelf? Should I, could I, with my myself?

Which brings me to my next point: Ain’t nobody can say “BOOBIES!” with a mad voice. It’s impossible. Still sounds like a dreamsickle ice cream pop tastes.

At any rate, I should probably wrap this up. I have my grandma at 7 am tomorrow. That means I have to leave home at 6:00 am and it’s currently 1:20 am now. It’s gonna be a long day. Maybe it will give me wacky inspiration on how to quit my job!

Because that’s when the best ideas come out, y’know, whenever there is sleep deprivation. ..
big boobs


3 Comments Add yours

  1. jackie says:

    People only make a big deal and notice those boobies because they are jealous or want some of thier own….perhaps this is why women are more verbal about it? ….and Why 7am???

    1. Breeness says:

      Papa had a doctor’s appointment at 8 am!

  2. Amy Schulz says:

    If anyone treats you with disrespect, whether you are on the job or not, I have complete faith in your ability to put them in their place.

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