I’m feeling really worn out today.
I spent the whole day at work, picturing what my brains would look like splattered on the wall. Pleasant right?
I just felt hopeless, helpless and a burden upon friends, family and society. Plus I was brutally awakened to the fact that some people are only in my life are only there because they need or want something from me. They are not there because they actually enjoy my company or like me as a person. It’s depressing and makes me feel like I never outgrew my high school super weirdo vibes. I suppose it’s possible that people don’t want to be around me because either I’m annoying or rude, but either way, it still makes me feel like a super freak.
Just less Rick James, and more Carrot Top.
Plus my nephew, Spud had seizures today. It’s terrifying to think of someone so small having those kind of problems. Fortunately, he’s okay for right now; durable y’know, like a potato.
However, so I avoid making this a blog entry entirely built on my prolific skills of whining, let’s talk about something else.
I think tomorrow I am going to start writing my children’s book. We’ll see. I need to finish “The Things They Carried,” and start on some other books before I have to turn them in. I’m also going to apply for a publisher’s assistant which is a super part-time position. I think that would be fun. I want to write. I also want to practice “I Believe in a Thing Called Love,” by the Darkness. I am going to master that, vocals too. Yes.
I am going to look over my list and see what else I can add. Maybe I’ll even clean for my aunt. Maybe I’ll even add something funny to my blog and not feel so depressed I imagine the least painful way to die.
I hope I actually accomplish everything I need to tomorrow. I need some sort of success.