Okay, so I have officially made it through chapter one of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse-Five,” and I’m not going to pretend like I really understand where the story is going.
I will share a quote from the story that probably isn’t important at all, but struck me as the kind of funny that I’m the only one who actually thinks it’s funny, “The little girls were wearing white party dresses with black party shoes, so strangers would know at once how nice they were.”
And once again, I’m not really sure where this story is going. The last time I read it was under the instruction of an underpaid English teacher at a public school. I wonder if I will truly understand anything without other people’s dialogue entering my listenholes. I guess sometimes it helps to regurgitate something someone else has said so that you can at least understand it from some perspective. I am just winging it here. I may also be completely devoid and incapable of independent thought. That’s promising.
On another note, reading that chapter was the most I accomplished today. I woke up late because I had stayed up to the wee hours of 4am to finish that bloody list of 100 things to do. That wasn’t intelligent. I even set my alarm, but when it went off I beat it to submission and went back to sleep. I am a little irritated with myself because I had things to do. I blew them off of course, woke up at 1pm and then watched John Stewart and the Colbert Report on my computer. I needed to clean for my aunt. She pays me a hefty sum to keep her large house in order.
On that other, another note, I do feel kind of bad that she pays me so much every week just to clean for her. I would just hang out with her, or just do it for free, but she’s the only reason I can keep making rent since I couldn’t keep my work-study position after I stopped taking classes. She pays me more per hour than I have ever made working a legitimate job.
And there again is another problem with the whole classes bit: I should only need one more class to graduate, (a science class with a lab) but it looks like things are not transferring (from study abroad and AP classes) so I may have 4 classes I have to do in total. What a pain. So my total time spent trying to get an undergraduate degree will be something like 6 years? Fraaack. I also got a letter from Uncle Sam. I owe him lots in federal loans and they want me to start paying in June. Let’s just say, that’s not gonna happen, even if I manage another minimum wage job. I am broke as shit and I have more medical bills coming in. I think I’ll just dump them in a pool and swim in them. Build my health up that way, become invincible and then no one ever can make me pay another dime! hahahah! This is depressing because I probably have another operation coming up to remove a cyst on my ovary. My ovaries hate me and everything my non-procreating-inclined id is inclined to do.
I wrapped up the day by playing “Mortal Kombat” with my dad and boyfriend. That’s probably not good for my psyche. For example, if I could tear asunder someone’s arms from their body and beat them to death with their own aforementioned appendages, I’d consider it. Yeah. Don’t you dare fracking drive 50mph in a 55mph zone.
(Transitional Sentence Here)
I haven’t moved forward in accomplishing anything on that 100 things to do list. Yeah, yeah I know. I will start. I’m just feeling amazed I actually read a chapter AND managed an update on this blog. Hopefully tomorrow I can push myself to do something. Or not. I’m a self-diagnosing now as self-destructive narcissist, shit just don’t get done. Also, the title of this entry has to do with the contents of the first chapter, just so ya’ll know I’m actually reading. Sometime I may actually discuss my reaction to the text, or not, read above sentence. Gah.